My Health, Physical and Mental

Text of a letter I proposed to send a psychiatrist in October 2020. After initial contacts by means of phone calls and emails, during which we discussed my request and his fees, I was eventually unable to pursue this avenue.

Hi again Doctor,

I am ready to mail you what I have received from two of three hospitals and/or mental health centers. One of the two informs me that my records for almost ten years have been destroyed and are no longer available.

As I mention to you before over the phone and by email, here is what I am looking for:

1)
Summary in layman's terms (perhaps 1 page) of my mental condition based on an evaluation of my files from two hospitals and a mental health center accumulated over twenty years. An interview by phone is possible, if desirable. I will also be providing you with a part of my manuscript detailing my "negatives." These negatives, while quite serious in themselves, date back from over a decade to over four decades ago and have already been distributed to a group of several people as part of my efforts at safekeeping my autobiography. There is nothing confidential about them anymore. I would be providing you this (formerly) very personal information (which in future, will become even less personal as I publish all of it in my book) for you to build a more accurate picture of my personality.

2)
A comment on the seriousness of the ethical and moral offenses possibly committed by one Oscar Revey (deceased), "unfrocked" psychotherapist - actually a likely government informant, purported friend of mine for over twenty years. He was a practicing therapist without a full license and was therefore required to work under the supervision of another, fully qualified therapist as he told me. Our relation was mostly one of friendship and not professional though over the years, I did tell him some very personal things about myself.

3)
A comment on the appropriateness of something said by a psychiatrist my sister, Irene Hawkins, took me to in Manhattan in the fall of 1988. He was a licensed psychiatrist I saw once as I descended into a severe psychosis. A day or so later, I did make a serious attempt at killing myself and spent the following 6 weeks in a mental hospital. What I am interested in is your reaction to a comment he made during our interview: "So you attended Caltech?" said in a scornful almost resentful tone, surprising me. When I spoke of it to my "friend" Oscar Revey a few months later, he passed it off as a normal technique of this psychiatrist to perhaps bring me down from my "high horse." That opinion, too, surprised me. Since I was at that moment in a fragile state and indeed, soon after, did try to kill myself. Let me also add here that my sister may have been complicit in "steering" me to this particular psychiatrist - although, in all fairness, I have to emphasize that to establish this as a fact would require discovery in court. (And, in order to not make my sister appear as the villain of the piece, you should know that, during those turbulent years, Irene has usually been more of a mother than a sister to me).

In closing, there are, in total, about 37 pages from Kaiser Permanente covering the years 2010 to 2020. Another 25 pages from Harbor UCLA although it looks like only 2 of those are about my psychiatric care (I think I was seen at most 2-3 times during a 6 month stay in a convalescent hospital). The file from my years of care at the Edelman Mental Health Center in West LA (12/9/1998 to 2/11/2010) was destroyed.

I am also including a summary of my life in several sections which will give you additional background information and a picture (NOT text) of the top level outline of my book.

Thank you,
Berg Hawkins
Los Angeles

asking him to begin an evaluation of my mental state.

Hi again Doctor, I am ready to mail you what I have received from two of three hospitals and/or mental health centers. One of the two informs me that my records for almost ten years have been destroyed and are no longer available. As I mention to you before over the phone and by email, here is what I am looking for:

1) Summary in layman's terms (perhaps 1 page) of my mental condition based on an evaluation of my files from two hospitals and a mental health center accumulated over twenty years. An interview by phone is possible, if desirable. I will also be providing you with a part of my manuscript detailing my "negatives." These negatives, while quite serious in themselves, date back from over a decade to over four decades ago and have already been distributed to a group of several people as part of my efforts at safekeeping my autobiography. There is nothing confidential about them anymore. I would be providing you this (formerly) very personal information (which in future, will become even less personal as I publish all of it in my book) for you to build a more accurate picture of my personality.

2) A comment on the seriousness of the ethical and moral offenses possibly committed by one Oscar Revey (deceased), "unfrocked" psychotherapist - actually a likely government informant, purported friend of mine for over twenty years. He was a practicing therapist without a full license and was therefore required to work under the supervision of another, fully qualified therapist as he told me. Our relation was mostly one of friendship and not professional though over the years, I did tell him some very personal things about myself.

3) A comment on the appropriateness of something said by a psychiatrist my sister, Irene Hawkins, took me to in Manhattan in the fall of 1988. He was a licensed psychiatrist I saw once as I descended into a severe psychosis. A day or so later, I did make a serious attempt at killing myself and spent the following 6 weeks in a mental hospital. What I am interested in is your reaction to a comment he made during our interview: "So you attended Caltech?" said in a scornful almost resentful tone, surprising me. When I spoke of it to my "friend" Oscar Revey a few months later, he passed it off as a normal technique of this psychiatrist to perhaps bring me down from my "high horse." That opinion, too, surprised me. Since I was at that moment in a fragile state and indeed, soon after, did try to kill myself. Let me also add here that my sister may have been complicit in "steering" me to this particular psychiatrist - although, in all fairness, I have to emphasize that to establish this as a fact would require discovery in court. (And, in order to not make my sister appear as the villain of the piece, you should know that, during those turbulent years, Irene has usually been more of a mother than a sister to me).

In closing, there are, in total, about 37 pages from Kaiser Permanente covering the years 2010 to 2020. Another 25 pages from Harbor UCLA although it looks like only 2 of those are about my psychiatric care (I think I was seen at most 2-3 times during a 6 month stay in a convalescent hospital). The file from my years of care at the Edelman Mental Health Center in West LA (12/9/1998 to 2/11/2010) was destroyed.

I am also including a summary of my life in several sections which will give you additional background information and a picture (NOT text) of the top level outline of my book.

Thank you,

Berg Hawkins

Los Angeles

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